5 Things Black Women can Learn from White Men (and Do Better than Them)

Disclaimer: It should go without saying that I don’t mean *all* white men. I am married to a white man, however some of these attributes even he exhibits due to the experiences he’s had while moving through this world. This is also about AMERICAN white men. Some of these are not behaviors that men are intentionally exhibiting, but based on the ways society has bent to their will. These are some common attributes of mediocre white men that I believe we could all benefit from.

1. White men share their opinions with their whole chest, no matter how wrong they are.

No matter what their education level, credentials or subject matter expertise, white men are pretty confident in their opinions and have no reservations about sharing it. They’re also quick to tell you that you are wrong. In fact since the 2016 Trump campaign, “Wrong!” is a full sentence. It doesn’t have to have a basis, regard for the other person’s opinion, or a follow-up explanation. The Trump campaign gave uneducated white men the vocabulary to be ignorant with confidence. And the ones with a little vocabulary, a little education and ability to wordsmith their thoughts are substantially more dangerous. White men who can put cohesive arguments together are immediately given authority and a platform.

-How is this useful?

Women in general have been socialized to be considerate of others in all situations. I have seen a woman with a PhD speaking on her area of expertise for which she has published works say things like “…does that make sense?” And “…just my opinion…”. Women in professional careers have realized they need to soften their language as not to be intimidating by their male counterparts. As a Black woman in various mediocre white male dominated workplaces, there is an additional layer of animosity if you outclass them. You learn to soften your language as a defense mechanism so you are not paying for it later. Even with your expertise and competence, when you work with mediocre white men, you are not seen as an asset to the…